Friday, August 26, 2011

"Leeky Friday"

Just Another Leeky Friday Morning

“What the stinky lint and abandoned food particles trapped in the deep dark recesses of the belly-button of a naky ogress trollop trying ta entice a group of poor, unsuspecting halflings into her lair, do ya make of the week I've had?
“She's impossible ta live with, I tell ya! I think she's finally lost her mind. What little she had left that is. Maxine Mansfield has been spending her days lately, stumbling from room to room mumbling in what can only be described as, an edit induced trance.
“Just keeps repeating over and over to herself and the bird who now keeps his head down and shivers at the back of his cage, 'I will not use the same word twice in the same chapter, let alone the same sentence. I will start to no longer be a passive writer. I started to begin my sentences and paragraphs with the words start, started, began, begin, as if to, but I now know better. I will, no longer treat comma's, as my personal, slaves. I will insert action into my dialogues, and dialogue into my action, and I will use the word insert, only once in my sex scenes. I will not be so sick of my hero and heroine that I hope they die horribly gruesome deaths, and I (Will) meet my deadline.'
“Gotta admit, I'm kinda scared for her, and I'm usually fearless. Is there perhaps a writers intervention hotline I can call?”
Leeky Shortz!


LizbethSelvig said...

Oh. My. Gosh. I fell off my chair. Leeky is the best assistant I've had report on his boss. How will you EVER stick to using the word insert only once in a sex scene? And poor Gabe cowering in his cage. LOLOL. You're awesome! But, good luck on the edits anyhow :-)

Maxine Mansfield said...

Thanks :)

DeNise said...

Dear Leeky,
I have just the thing for poor Maxine. Schedule an afternoon off so she can go to lunch wiht the girls.
You're a good assistant, thanks for letting us know she needs a break.